After 11hrs of surgery, 2 titanium plates, and 8 screws, with a little bone shaving of the old cervical spine, Im finally getting back to where I love the most. Muscle memory is truly an amazing thing. Its been several yrs of doctors, and surgeons and mri's, pain management, spinal blocks, cortisone shots, electric stim treatment, and the list just goes on. I know I damaged my elbow itself nearly a decade ago, but I didnt take it seriously until the elbow wouldn't fully extended. Then I remember one day, pulling the truck into the garage at work and when I stepped out, this pain shot up my spine like I had been shot. At the time, I had only pinched my syatic nerve(which is one of the most painful things to happen to the body) but I would have never guessed it to be the precussor to massive nerve damage throughout the right side of my body. Getting to a point, where using my hands was a challenge. Especially holding things for a long period of time, the right hand would begin to lock up, and I would have to pry my hand open, and worst case scenario loosing the function in that hand, I started training myself to use my left hand for a lot of things, which isnt an easy thing to do, especially when your a stubborn SOB to begin with, and you have to fight yourself.
But in all seriousness, its been a little over a year now since that operation. This nerve damage isnt contained to the right side of my body anymore, and Ive began to notice the little things that come about before the true pain will settle in the left arm. Battling post operative depression, this economy being the way it is, and the simple fact that there are very few things on this earth as far as work goes, that you dont need to use your hands in order to do that job. Thankfully, I am blessed with an intelligent mind, and am not far away from a degree in psychology that I began so long ago.
Just being back on 500mgs of test a week, and those receptors were bone dry, so they slurpped that test right in because its only been max 4 weeks, and I am stronger, muscle density is greater, the weight is moving so much smoother. And, since I started using AAS when I was only 17, Im one of countless guys that without being on HRT, my free test levels are that of a 9 yr old girl, and what it shows me though is truly how important this hormone is to a man. Just a few weeks ago, I still had remnants of depression, and being lethargic, and not being on the ball like I always was. Testosterone is crucial for day to day life, not just the building block of a good cycle. If, I had waited a few more yrs before starting, and had used PCT properly, it may not have been as bad as it is, but I also do believe that anyone that has been using gear for close to 20 yrs like I have been, will almost definitely require HRT at some point in their life. And lets face it, we live in an age of, if its broken we have a medication for it. I have no problem with the fact that I will need to inject test into my body for the rest of my life, if I want to continue feeling as good as I do now. Simply put, test is the building block of life. And right now, life is good, because I feel good, mentally and physically. There is no drug, that could make me feel this way, because no drug allows me to function as a man, like test does. And that 1cc of oil, that goes into my body, is assisting me take back whats been missing over the last years of my life,and I wouldnt trade that 1cc for anything, because its assisting me attain whatever I want, simply because my body has had the time to rest and recover, and now Im ready to rock and roll again.
REDRUM
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks