Thread: 🤔How to approach someone or making a suggestion without seeming insulting?🤔

🤔How to approach someone or making a suggestion without seeming insulting?🤔

How would you approach or go about suggesting to someone to possibly consider fitness, dieting and training in which they could really use in their life whether it's health-related or a mental state of well being, WITHOUT offending them or overstepping boundaries that could be insulting???

What people ultimately decide to do with their lives is there own doing, but what if it's a dear friend, co-working, family member or even significant other?

If you had a relationship with this person there is no such thing as insulting. If they don't realize that you're trying to help them with the knowledge that you have and they lack because of a noticeable effect on them that everyone else has seen and that's on them. Just tell them straight up.

For instance dudes I work with if I see them getting fat I work in a very physical job and I'm like hey dude you're getting f****** fat what are you dieting like and then I start asking questions pertaining to their diet and workout and then ask them if they've tried these certain things like,

Like if they say they're mostly eating carbohydrates I'll ask have you tried carb cycling with intermittent fasting.

I do 30 minutes on the stair stepper twice a week I'm not losing any weight I'll be like oh well have you tried high intensity interval training instead. if they get insulted that's on them instead of realizing you're trying to help

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

Yea thats definately a sensitive topic. My new girlfriend and I have been talking about going to the gym together lately and my approach was this: I simply said I need a training partner. Now will she be able to spot me maxing on bench or squat, probably not. ill have to keep it simple and focused more around cardio those days we go together, but by asking for a training partner ive fulfilled her desire to help her man achieve his goals; she sheds a few unwanted pounds, the sex gets better �� everyone wins

Originally Posted by players university

Yea thats definately a sensitive topic. My new girlfriend and I have been talking about going to the gym together lately and my approach was this: I simply said I need a training partner. Now will she be able to spot me maxing on bench or squat, probably not. ill have to keep it simple and focused more around cardio those days we go together, but by asking for a training partner ive fulfilled her desire to help her man achieve his goals; she sheds a few unwanted pounds, the sex gets better 😉 everyone wins

This hits home with me, due to the wife and her health and sense of well being declining

I “try” to compliment her or others for that matter and give encouragement and I’ve “tried” the hey come with me to the gym and we can lift together babe, but it seems to fall on deaf ears with her…I find myself growing frustrated while trying anything to help with her self-worth because she can be rough on herself, but yet she truly is a gem, seriously she is beautiful.. But it can be difficult making suggestions to "our woman" if they have a preconceived notion in their heads… I guess if we really care about that person, just keep leading by example… But, HOW MANY EXAMPLES CAN WE POSSIBLY MAKE, like really?

What gets me is when she ask for suggestions because clearly most of our partners see our day to day life, but yet anything we say or do falls onto deaf ears… Lack of self motivation and possibly intimation could be a huge factor for most… The gym can be a scary place for those that are unfamiliar, and most people that “attempt” to diet fail and have no desire to give it a Nobel effort, deeming all diets worthless when it fact it was probably 100% lack of consistency or understanding on their end… My wife listens to her friends about this new diet, or this fad, but most of these 'diets" have ZERO fallow up plan.. Its a commitment that is a lifestyle and a way of life, not just a set dead-line for summer or a wedding/event..

Just approach them and offer some help. Sometimes people don't want to talk or just want to do what they want to do whether its a family member or a stranger. What I hate about families is when they do not lookout for each other and watch each other make the wrong choices and slowly just all die together. Thats a pet peeve of mine.

Ill agree there vision. Its especially hard for women to get on the gym train cold turkey, by that I mean having not been excersizing for a long time. It was even hard for me at first but what people and especially our significant others dont realize is that yes, there are people in better shape than them/us at the gym, but theres also people in worse shape; no need to feel embarassed.

I think the experience is universal for the most part, when people get those first few good workouts in and feel the endorphines rushing through the system and get the awesome feeling of accomplishment. If we can help those in our lives who are hesitant get just a couple awesome intense workouts in its alot more likely they will continue to seek that rush, that good feeling. Ive seen this happen to so many people, friends, family.

Originally Posted by players university

Ill agree there vision. Its especially hard for women to get on the gym train cold turkey, by that I mean having not been excersizing for a long time. It was even hard for me at first but what people and especially our significant others dont realize is that yes, there are people in better shape than them/us at the gym, but theres also people in worse shape; no need to feel embarassed.

I think the experience is universal for the most part, when people get those first few good workouts in and feel the endorphines rushing through the system and get the awesome feeling of accomplishment. If we can help those in our lives who are hesitant get just a couple awesome intense workouts in its alot more likely they will continue to seek that rush, that good feeling. Ive seen this happen to so many people, friends, family.

I definitely agree that stepping into unfamiliar territory does in fact universally bind all of us with some sort of Fear Factor or intimidation.. I don't know any human being in life that possesses that much confidence that they can walk into any situation that they are unfamiliar with and completely capitalize on it imperviously..

Women I personally feel are the biggest self-critique of them all and a lot of that has to do with social media,magazines and movies and so on everything and anything that has to pretend to glitz and glamour and always having to be at your best...I'm a firm believer that women do not get dressed up and look pretty when they go in public to impress other men, in fact I think they do it because of the competition of other women and they don't want to be judged.. sure women can appreciate a man looking at them but I think they more care about the girl that's standing behind her in line looking her up and down..have you ever noticed when a woman is introduced to another woman before they shake hands they're eyeballing each other up and down? They are already critiquing what they don't like about the other woman..
I think this plays a major role on why some women don't go into fitness centers or gyms...

But this can really go both ways as well because I have had many dudes in my life size me up when in fact they shouldn't have because they got a beautiful wife and family sitting right next to them, it's like hey man no need to hate..

Originally Posted by Vision

This hits home with me, due to the wife and her health and sense of well being declining

I “try” to compliment her or others for that matter and give encouragement and I’ve “tried” the hey come with me to the gym and we can lift together babe, but it seems to fall on deaf ears with her…I find myself growing frustrated while trying anything to help with her self-worth because she can be rough on herself, but yet she truly is a gem, seriously she is beautiful.. But it can be difficult making suggestions to "our woman" if they have a preconceived notion in their heads… I guess if we really care about that person, just keep leading by example… But, HOW MANY EXAMPLES CAN WE POSSIBLY MAKE, like really?

What gets me is when she ask for suggestions because clearly most of our partners see our day to day life, but yet anything we say or do falls onto deaf ears… Lack of self motivation and possibly intimation could be a huge factor for most… The gym can be a scary place for those that are unfamiliar, and most people that “attempt” to diet fail and have no desire to give it a Nobel effort, deeming all diets worthless when it fact it was probably 100% lack of consistency or understanding on their end… My wife listens to her friends about this new diet, or this fad, but most of these 'diets" have ZERO fallow up plan.. Its a commitment that is a lifestyle and a way of life, not just a set dead-line for summer or a wedding/event..

I never push my gym lifestyle agenda on anyone, however, if they ask, I'm more than happy to discuss it with them. The one thing that I've learned about people who are living in an unhealthy lifestyle, is that they won't EVER want to change unless they want to change. You can literally talk until your face turns blue and motivate the hell out of them with words, but in the end, it's up to them to get up everyday and drag themselves to the gym. I've talked to my wife and tried to motivate her and there's no changing her. She doesn't eat unhealthy, and she's got a decent body, but, when it comes to exercise, she just isn't the type to do it. She was diagnosed with high blood pressure recently and instead of making changes to her eating regime and exercise, she'll just take a pill. I went through the same thing and I tried over 8 different HBP pills - all had horrible side effects. I changed my diet a bit more and dropped my blood pressure from 150/95 down to 120s/70s. I have found that girls are the hardest to convince to go to the gym. If they've looked good all their life, they have never been in that mentality of working out to look good. Hell, girls don't look good for guys, they try to look better than the next girl. One thing that I do know about the opposite sex is that male/female work out partners only work out for so long. Look, we're just different in our approaches. If they got into the gym and they are keeping with the program, most likely they're going to workout on cardio equipment and do light exercises. It's like my wife told me, when she works out, her shoulders get wider and she hates that. She's tiny, but has naturally wide shoulders. I told her, as you work out, you will build muscle and then lose the fat, so yes you will seem to get bigger, but then in the end you will get smaller. She wants instant gratification, thus, take a pill for high blood pressure and not work out. The best thing that I can get her to do is do walks and hikes with me. And for some people, that's as good as you are going to get.

I work with a bunch of guys who literally have 20+ restaurants to eat at for lunch written down on a whiteboard. Everyday, they want to go out to lunch. At first, it was a money issue for me. I simply could not afford going to lunch and spending 15$ on a friggin sandwhich, pizza, or whatever every day and plus, it's so fattening. I politely declined and ate my own meals that I prepared at home and if they ever asked I told them the first part about the money issue and secondly, I worked out and watch my weight and I need to keep my blood pressure regulated so I try to eat healthy. I will go out with them once a month, but that's it. I stand my ground firmly. Meanwhile, the guy that sits in my cube is borderline diabetic, slams two large starbuck's fraps, eats junk food from the machine and never eats a healthy home cooked meal. When he complains about his issues, I politely suggest that he should change his diet, perhaps stop the fraps, drink something different, etc, and he gets upset and says whatever. Everyone that I work with is like that. Even the one guy who is trying to change his way of life is still falling into his old habits.

People are not going to change until they want to, IF they want to. I don't even waste my time anymore. People will always choose to sit in front of their computer for 8-16 hours a day instead of spending 1-2 hours in the gym.

Is this person a Spouse, friend or a family member.