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    Thread: partners of childhood sexual abuse victims

    1. #21
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      Quote Originally Posted by 5forty View Post
      This is exactly how I've felt, from the moment she started. In fact, at one point she stopped and said she couldn't tell me anymore because she didn't want to do this to me. I asked her why she thinks she should have to carry all of this by herself, especially after so many years. I told her I wanted it all and that I didn't want there to be any part of it left for her to carry alone anymore...so she kept going.

      I told her that I'd never bring it up for the rest of our lives, but that we can talk about it any time and any place that she wants to. It's been I guess 2 days now and we've literally talked about this for hours either thru texts or face to face in our bed. I think the biggest thing for her is just not being alone with it anymore. She was so convinced that I would be repulsed by her because of what happened, that when I wasn't it was like her whole outlook on it has changed. For the first 13 yrs of her life she was either molested or raped by him and for the first time in 40 yrs some of that shame and disgust has disappeared.

      I know that we have a long way to go together with this....and I will be whatever she needs me to be without hesitation.
      Just tell her that '5forty' has your back. Treat her well or better. I spoil my wife rotten because of what she's been thru and tell her that I am making up for what she's endured. SHe knows I would never hurt her and that I would chew both arms off to save her.....

      She obviously trusts you or she would have never told you. Don't break that trust.

      On another rant it really, really pisses me off when any man mistreats a woman, a kid a pet, etc. You don't want me around when you're acting a fool because I will flat out jump your ass.

      BPP

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    4. #22
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      Quote Originally Posted by 5forty View Post
      I'm so sorry to hear that you went thru the same thing. I sincerely hope that you were able to find a way to move past what happened.
      Thanks. For sure I did. It took some time and alot of counsling but I am all good now thank Gd.

      Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

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    7. #23
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      Quote Originally Posted by 5forty View Post
      I don't even know really. anything. books message board to talk to people who went thru the same thing...whatever. Something to know what to say to her the next time it comes up. I just found out everything last night and its all I can do not to go and kill him right now. It so far beyond fucked up and just about the worst that someone could imagine. I don't think it's healthy to feel like this and I don't think it's going to help her...so anything
      Bro first and foremost I am sorry for your wife that she had to deal with not only a childhood but a life long torment that she has felt with all these years. I have a deep rooted hatred for pieces of shit like this that still walk in the world and make a choice to ruin the life’s of the ones they hurt.. i can not tell you how to handle the abuser in her life... it would take all the power of god to make me think with my head screwed on straight. Because I am sure with all the emotions you have going on for the love of your life, the fire that you feel inside of wanting to burn this abuser to the ground can be overwhelming. I was in corrections for years and after having two daughters of my own every time these pieces of shit would come thru the door with no remorse for what they had done I couldn’t help but think about my girls and what if someone hurt them.. then one day this guy came for rapping his 10 year old daughter . I couldn’t take it anymore. I was gonna snap. I went home that night and told my wife I was quitting, so I resigned. It was not a healthy lifestyle for me or my family. But I will tell you this people that do this kind of shit have no remorse for it. There should be no jail time no court dates just death. I don’t care if they were abused themselves. Their is no excuse for it. And if he did this to her I am gonna bet he may have done it to someone else as well. But back to her.. be there for her, and she needs support, and must really love you and feel comfortable and safe with you to have told you this.. be cool I know what you want to do but now is not the time.. if that’s what is going to happen wait till the time is right and you will have your day as her friend lover and protector. I may be rambling but I am trying to put it out their without drawing it out any further than I am.. God be with the both of you.
      Everyone wanna be a Beast, Until it’s time to do what Beast’s Do!!!
      I S Y M F S
      (It’sStillYourMutherfuckingSet)

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    10. #24
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      I can't relate from personal experience but I can tell you is to be supportive.
      For a woman, the support and understanding of their partner means way more than any gesture.
      If she just wants to cuddle for the night, then you hold her play with her hair.
      If she wants to go for a walk, then find a nice trail and explore.
      One thing my father always told me and I'll never forget.
      "Cook a meal with your partner! One chop, the other stir. It'll help you understand each other and read each other's emotions before any words can be said."
      I'm sorry that you are going through this but a book or an article can only help so much. The real solution is to be with her, listen to her, hold her a much as she wants and if she doesn't want the light on, leave the lights off.
      A simple understanding from you will do wonders for her.

      Mrs. AO
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    12. partners of childhood sexual abuse victims
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