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  • Page 7 of 7 FirstFirst ... 567
    Results 61 to 67 of 67

    Thread: Tell me your best dirty joke

    1. #61
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      What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle


      How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow
      Last edited by Bombarinos; Yesterday at 11:40 AM.
      "Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you"

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      Tell me your best dirty joke Tell me your best dirty joke
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    4. #62
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      Quote Originally Posted by Herc View Post
      "You can always tell a guy masturbates a lot by his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."
      Bahaha

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      pehlwanpharma@protonmail.com strictly for entertainment purposes only
      It is all fiction.. I don't condone any of it in real life. I am not a professional or medical doctor just a figment of your imagination

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    7. #63
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      A delivery guy in NYC goes into a very plush high rise office tower. His delivery is on the 68th floor. He enters the elevator at the lobby and is surrounded by old men in expensive suits and personal assistants that look like they are on the brink of a nervous breakdown. As the elevator goes up it stops at several of the lower floors as people just like the first bunch get on and off. Even the personal assistants and interns look at him like he's unwanted trash as he stands dilligently in his delivery uniform holding a package. By the time the elevator gets to the 42nd floor, he is so fed up and disgusted with the snobby looks and dismissive body language from the people in the building that he contemplates taking the stairs the rest of the way. Then, the elevator stops at the 53rd floor, everyone but him gets off and the door closes. The elevator goes up one more floor and stops again. The door opens, a guy who looks like a secret service agent holds the elevator door open while standing to the side as if he is holding for someone. About 2 minutes go by and the delivery guy is about to say something but the security guy looks like he might, and easily could, rip him from limb to limb. Finally he hears footsteps coming down the marble halway towards the elevator... he cannot see the person but he can tell its a woman wearing heels. Then, as if in slow motion, the most gorgeous woman he has seen in a loonnngg time turns the corner into the elevator. She is so stunning that he drops his eyes and butterflies hit his stomach. She was definitely someone high-powered, dressed, barely in some sort of tailored Armani type of mini-skirt, low cut white silk blouse, and suit jacket left open. Her skin is a smooth, golden tan, the likes of which he's never seen, and a body that a seasoned porn-star couldnt handle! The security thug stares him down with a look that says "dont even think about it", as he states in military fashion to the woman, "Good day ma'am" and releases the elevator door. Now its just the delivery guy and her.... alone.... She gives him a glance, and immediately follows it with a look of disgust and a "dream-on loser" attitude. As the elevator slowly travels the delivery guy cant help but stare, soon his eyes begin to water, his breath becomes labored, he starts to feel as if he may have a heart attack... Finally, unable to help himself he taps the woman on the the shoulder gently and says "excuse me ma'am". She immediately recoils from his touch and whips her head around to face him "Oh. My. God. WHAT?!!!" she snarled in an angry and disgusted tone. "What the FUCK, do you want, PEASANT?!!"
      "I'm sorry ma'am, I cant stand it anymore, I HAVE to ask..." he says sheepishly... "can I smell your pussy?"
      Her eyes widen with a look of horror like she just found a dead rat in her $250 sushi-platter...
      "NO you little bastard! NO you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT smell my PUSSY!!!!"
      The delivery guy, wiping tears from his eyes and begining to cough says...
      "Oh, it must be your feet then."

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    10. #64
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      Quote Originally Posted by Bombarinos View Post
      What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle


      How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow
      Good gawwwd lmao!
      Mrs. IrishOak (Irish by Marriage)

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    12. #65
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      Quote Originally Posted by Bombarinos View Post
      Lmao ok ok now ITS ON!
      Yo mama so nasty, when I asked her what's for dinner, she stuck her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

      Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper

      Yo mama so old she knew the Great Wall of China when it was just ok

      Yo mama is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!

      Yo mama so fat, she’s gotta wake up in sections

      Yo mama so fat, I don't have room to type the punchline!
      Mrs. IrishOak (Irish by Marriage)

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    15. #66
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      Your momma so fat she stepped on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington’s nose


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    18. #67
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      Your momma so fat her blood type is ragu.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    21. Tell me your best dirty joke
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