So I thought I'd write this whole story out, just so the world knows it can happen. For the last 3 years, I've battled intractable hiccups, for stretches of time ranging from a couple days up to 22 days in a row. The hiccups would start, and simply not stop. Once you've gone thru all the home remedys multiple times and they don't stop it, you wonder what the fuck has happened in your life to stress you out this bad. I mean...hiccups. Hiccups until I would lose my food without nausea. It would simply just come back up. It sounds strange, but hiccups that never end are completely debilitating. Its caused me to miss quite a bit of work, cause speaking to customers is an integral part of my job.


I've never had any lingering health issues in my life before, and I didn't know if my use of PEDs was causing or contributing to this. So back in April i went to see a GI specialist. He had me take a "swallow" test, using some concoction that felt like cement in my bowels. That test showed nothing was wrong. So they scheduled an endoscopy for me. He did the procedure and said there was nothing wrong, and gave me a script for something to stop the hiccups. the script didn't work on the hiccups technically; it put me to sleep. Reglan was the drug, and its true name is thorazine. That's right, my doctor prescribed thorazine for my fucking hiccups. I was pretty discouraged at this point cause I don't like doctors anyway, but I decided to drop that guy and get a new doctor.


New doctor got me to come in for an upper GI scan. By now, I'm not eating and if I do, I throw it back up within the hour. Weeks have passed and I'm simply miserable when I'm awake. I finally get in for the scan, and the next day, my GI calls me and quietly (but urgently) tells me I need to see a urologist, right now. When I asked why, he wouldn't tell me exact details, only that my left kidney showed on the scan as "extremely abnormal". Well hell, what is that supposed to mean? Do I have cancer? "No, but you need to see a urologist immediately." So now I'm off to find a urologist, I get my records sent over and the appointment is scheduled ASAP, which is 11 days away. No kidding. He did, however, prescribe me Baclofen for the hiccups, and that was a homerun. Stopped those hiccups in their tracks, and now I was functioning.


I started this process in mid April, and now its the first week of July. When I get to see the urologist on July 8th, I'm still freaked out about my abnormal kidney. I'm sitting in the exam room, when my doctor comes in, sits down at the computer and pulls up my scan. "So...are you in pain?" No. "Have you experienced pain on your left side at all?" No. So she looks at me and flips the monitor around and says "You don't have cancer, if that's what you're worried about. But the problem is, your kidney is dead. And its been dead for a long time. Most people have a great deal of pain with this ailment, but you appear to have had none." WTF? As it turns out, I'd had a kidney stone 16 years prior, and had a procedure done to remove it. That procedure caused scar tissue to form in my urethra and it clogged up the entrance to my kidney, and basically choked it out. It was so dead, that most of the tissue around it had rotted away. I was in shock.


So after discussing it with the doctor, I scheduled surgery to remove the dead kidney. That happened for me on October 18th. I'm healing nicely, and while my urologist said that the kidney wasn't actually the source of my hiccups, they are indeed, gone. I don't take pills anymore for that. My GI specialist said the kidney was absolutely the problem because of its proximity to the diaphragm. I'm gonna say the GI doctor was right.


I doubt many people will ever experience this kind of craziness with their health, but I thought I'd share it with the world, just in case. Glad to be healthy again at 53, and ready to hit the weights again SOON.