So I've always been relatively active... Was in the army, lived in the gym, even juiced back over 10 years ago. But as time progressed and my body became more and more beat up, I slowly transitioned to mainly bodyweight exercises as my joints just didn't like weights all that much.

I still always maintained what I was more than satisfied with as far as my physique and found great joy in things like climbing up rock faces, trees, alligatoring through streams and creeks on all fours from rock to rock. Things that might sound strange to most but I found much joy in outdoor exercising.

Fastforward to now... This past october my brother died from a heroin overdose. It sent me into an inner world of panic, my energy vacated my body and I laid lifeless for quite sometime... Finally after saying to myself "life goes on", I've found I am left with terrible weakness, at one point I was even having trouble walking up stairs, pretty much, just about every single muscle groups shakes/twitches uncontrollably. I've kept at exercising to strengthen things back up, but now my joints seem even extra dry than anything they had ever been before! I was playing constant tug of war between strenghtening my muscles back up and the joint pain of actually being able to exercise.

Now this is the part that brings me here... It has been 10 years since I last ran a cycle, I never thought I'd even think of returning as I was happy with my level of fitness and physique and lost the appetite to be as big as I could get and was more than satisfied with where I was at...

Now, I'm thinking of returning in hopes to get over this newfound weakness/shakiness combined with joint pain.

I would think that would place myself in a different category than what most seek out from AAS, but then again, I could be wrong.

Am thinking of possibly running a low-dose cycle just to see how it affects things, I keep pondering it around in my mind, I'd preferably just try to regain on my own, but it seems no matter the length of time nor how long I stay at things, I'm left with this same issue, so am hoping that such would give me that little nudge to get back to where I once was.

Was thinking about going on test/deca and possibly throw eq into the mix as I've heard good things about deca and eq for joints

I honestly do not care about size nor mass, though I definitely declined from where I was this past october, I just want my strength back and the ability to perform/function without shaking like a reed in the wind lol. Feels like I turned into an old man overnight. It is really depressing to wake up and have everything shake. I have to fight through the shakiness of this present weakness.