Well, it's Sunday again, and that means it's time for anyone held hostage by religion to fork over cash so your pastor can keep himself in coke, male prostitutes, and the huge mansion he's worked so hard for.
Of course some of you who can't afford expensive clothes may choose to skip the drive to church, and buy your salvation directly from T.V.---you know, from those televangelists who tell you how rich you'll be if you just simply have the faith to send them a $1,000 "seed".
That's right; If you "sow" a $1,000 "seed", God will return it to you tenfold. A check will just show up in the mail. Your marriage will be saved no matter how many guys you've serviced in sleazy bus stations, and that cancer that the doctor told you was stage 4, will disappear.
Praise Jesus.
But for some reason, you're not able to actually send the money to Jesus because he doesn't take Pay Pal...or anything else apparently. Not to worry; the maggot on your T.V. screen with the gold rings and tacky hair has a direct line to God and will make sure your cash will be taken care of.
But anyway, as I was channel-surfing this morning looking for skinimax, I stumbled across one of these shitkickers, and I got to thinking..... If God is willing to help good people do good things, then maybe he'd be willing to help BOP. I mean, they do a lot of good shit here, and some of us actually are good people. Besides, God has to like anyone willing to do steroids to improve on the shitty work he did when he created 12 inch biceps.
So here's what I want you to do: If you REALLY believe in BOP, and the work we do, then go to your phone right NOW and call. Sow a $1,000 love gift, and I promise you your gains will come twice as quick, and you'll be twice as big. But do it now ... don't put it off so you'll have time to come to your fucking senses---do it NOW. 1-800-1SUCKER.
Don't let this opportunity pass you by. God hates pussys...and anyone else who has a mind of their own.
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