Thread: Cowboys Accountability Log

Originally Posted by MCmeshugenah

Hey that's what's up. Glad to hear. Nothing worse than worrying about family. Eh Mike my man. Wish I could say everythings been honkey dory. It's been hell man. I was right back to where I was at my lowest. Tonight's probably the climax of it. Talking g about it's not gonna do no one no good. But man I really do want and need a change. I got two days of the stimulants. Still feel a bit like death bit it's getting there and I'm fucking putting my foot down. I need some positivity now man. I've fallen into nihilism and thinking the worse. I need a change man. I'm gonna become the biggest fixing animal in the gym. I'm fucking hungry. I lost touch with fitness and excersise. I'm fucking hungry now and angry as hell. And done with dealing and putting up with bullshit. From now on its fucking me first. I'm not being anybody's fool no more. Sorry for the rant brotha. I know most of it makes no sense. In a nutshell have been fucking up but am back in this bitch with a 10 inch erect fucker.

Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk

Lol brother... I know all to well of the:
sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Ya gotta hit the bottom in order to rise up... if you aren’t at rock bottom, you’re not done yet... then it’s just a gamble which comes first... jails, institutions or death... or the option of going the path of the most resistance and getting clean... our desire to change MUST exceed the desire to stay the same....

I don’t envy your position.. in fact I rely on seeing others bouncing off the walls to remind me to always remain humble.. that can be me any day and at any time...

All we got is today. Right now. Yesterday doesn’t matter anymore and tomorrow ain’t here yet... stay in the moment. One step at a time... it’s totally up to you how it plays out.

Just know there’s many here who’ve been through it man. You’re not alone if you don’t want to be... I’d probably suggest tabling all big plans and expectations.:. Keep it fucking simple brother... don’t overwhelm yourself... for at least a year... get into a routine. Probably not best to hit up the gear until after you get past a year as well... that’s what I’d tell you if you were my sponsee... no relationships, no big decisions, no gear, be of service to everything and everyone you can... stay out of your head. Give out your number and ask for others to reach out... ask for their number... text 10 others a day to check in. Call 3. If they don’t answer, leave a message... hit a meeting a day... every time you feel sorry for yourself, you do something for someone else...

One day at a time brother. Keep it simple. You fall, you get the fuck back up and go again.. but if you aren’t done yet, you aren’t done yet... if you are, you know what you gotta do.

Day 167

Upon wake up:
Nadda, nothing, forced fast for doc appointment



Meals:
12:00pm Meal 1
Calories: 857
2 cups cottage cheese
1 choc peanut butter chunk protein bar
1 grab bag Doritos
3oz smoked turkey breast



4:00pm Meal 2
Calories: 200
1 tillamoo cheese snack
1 sourdough toast slice



6:45pm Meal 3
Calories: 740
4oz ground turkey
1 cup broccoli
Organic Ramen noodles
3 tbsp soyaki sauce
2.5 cups chef salad no dressing




no food, no water until noon... got some retarded tube in my nose and dangling in my throat until noon tomorrow... pain in the ass and very inconvenient... but it is what it is... gotta get it done if I want to get it fixed...

No shower, which is lame lol... good thing I’m well versed in the bird bathing techniques picked up along the way in life...

No gym since I can’t properly clean myself... that and I can’t see it being beneficial trying to lift with all this stuff strapped to my face and body...

Lol I’m a bowl of sunshine I know.. it all started when I started going hypo around 7am.. fasting is not my thing.. not on a work day anyway...

Just a wake up, a few small jobs to take care of, then this thing comes out and I can take my heartburn meds again thank goodness... I’m dying here..

Hopefully I’m able to post this.. been having issues logging in past couple days... starting to wonder if my phones hacked..




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for the breaths I get to take on my own and without assistance.


——
8:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol (BP meds)
300mg Ranitidine (antacid)
5mg melatonin
2 Kirkland sleep aid
————————————————

Total water consumed until now:
1.25 gallons
————————————————

Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 1,797
Protein: 141
Carbs: 128
Fiber: 24
Sugar: 23
Fat: 69

Hang in there bud.

There were some issues with the forum that caused everyone to not be able to view threads.

Originally Posted by Cowboymike

Lol brother... I know all to well of the:
sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Ya gotta hit the bottom in order to rise up... if you aren’t at rock bottom, you’re not done yet... then it’s just a gamble which comes first... jails, institutions or death... or the option of going the path of the most resistance and getting clean... our desire to change MUST exceed the desire to stay the same....

I don’t envy your position.. in fact I rely on seeing others bouncing off the walls to remind me to always remain humble.. that can be me any day and at any time...

All we got is today. Right now. Yesterday doesn’t matter anymore and tomorrow ain’t here yet... stay in the moment. One step at a time... it’s totally up to you how it plays out.

Just know there’s many here who’ve been through it man. You’re not alone if you don’t want to be... I’d probably suggest tabling all big plans and expectations.:. Keep it fucking simple brother... don’t overwhelm yourself... for at least a year... get into a routine. Probably not best to hit up the gear until after you get past a year as well... that’s what I’d tell you if you were my sponsee... no relationships, no big decisions, no gear, be of service to everything and everyone you can... stay out of your head. Give out your number and ask for others to reach out... ask for their number... text 10 others a day to check in. Call 3. If they don’t answer, leave a message... hit a meeting a day... every time you feel sorry for yourself, you do something for someone else...

One day at a time brother. Keep it simple. You fall, you get the fuck back up and go again.. but if you aren’t done yet, you aren’t done yet... if you are, you know what you gotta do.

Friend of Bill

Sent from my Galaxy Note 9 using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by RussianBot

Friend of Bill

Sent from my Galaxy Note 9 using Tapatalk

;0)

Day 168

Upon wake up:
200mg TrenE
125mg MastE
125mg TestE
250mg TestC
12.5mg Aromasin

4 cups cinnamon infused folders coffee

Meals:
3:00am Meal 1
Calories: 407
2 cups cottage cheese

8:00am Meal 2
Calories: 720
4.5 cups shiitake mushroom chicken

10:00am Meal 3
Calories: 525
3.5 cup teriyaki bbq chicken

12:00pm Meal 4
Calories: 225
9oz oven roasted turkey

2:00pm Meal 5
Calories: 440
1 cup steamed broccoli
1 tbsp soyaki sauce
1 pack fresh organic ramen noodles
4oz ground turkey


4:00pm Meal 6 pre-workout Shake
Calories: 815
2 scoops chocolate whey concentrate
2 scoops unflavored whey concentrate
1 scoop nutrogix super greens blend
1 packet amazing grass green superfood
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter

Plus vitamins:
Primer, by Magnum Nutraceuticals, 1 pack 8 caps.




Got the tube out of my throat and I’m not all wired up anymore.. now I can take the heartburn meds again thank god... no one should have to suffer through that shit.. it’s truly unbearable...

Work was good today, it definitely wore me out...

I did not want to go to the gym today... like legit didn’t want too.. which surprises me tbh... but I got smart feet and they got me there anyway... after my warm up sets it was on and cracking.. just needed to feel the blood pumping through my veins and the heat start riding from the areas being worked... then the obsession took over...

I’m a little stoked to not have to take so many vitamins with this new all in one supplement.. I’ll ride these out for the next month and see how I feel. It will be nice if they can take over for the most part.. good for my pocket too..

I’m really liking this blend I’m testing out... 200mg TrenE, 125mg MastE, 125 TestE.. I am still adding additional test to keep that up towards a gram a week so I can get a legit test run out and in the books. I can say I’m definitely liking the longer esters with tren and mast more than I like the short.. maybe I’m not getting more mg for my dollar this way, but I’m definitely feeling it more this way... the sides definitely coming with it too though. But that’s fine. Not too bad.




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for smart feet


——
8:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol (BP meds)
300mg Ranitidine (antacid)
5mg melatonin
2 Kirkland sleep aid
1 5-HTP Plus
————————————————

Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons
————————————————

Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,132
Protein: 414
Carbs: 158
Fiber: 25
Sugar: 76
Fat: 90


Chest workout

Warm ups
4 supersets @ 20 reps each movement:
Flat bench dumbbell press, 35lb, w/wrist twist and chest squeeze and then svene press w/25lb plate

Chest press machine
4 sets @
250lbs x 8 reps
3 sets @
220lbs x 8 reps
3 sets @
150lbs x 15 reps

Incline dumbbell press
4 sets @
65lbs x 10 reps

Incline dumbbell fly
4 sets @
50lbs x 10 reps

Incline champagne press
4 sets @
50lbs x 10 reps

Decline dumbbell press
4 sets @
80lbs x 10 reps

Decline dumbbell flys
3 sets @
50lbs x 10 reps

Cable flys
6 sets mid range
100 lbs x 15 reps
1 set to failure

High range
4 sets
100lbs x 15 reps
1 set to failure

Low range
4 sets
100lbs x 15
1 set to failure

That vitamin pack is a god send isn't it. Haha..

Today is my first day using them as well.

Originally Posted by leftkz

That vitamin pack is a god send isn't it. Haha..

Today is my first day using them as well.

Hell yeah brother! I’m super excited about it.. not swallowing a mountain of pills every day lol

That’s cool we will he side by side taking them though! We can get a good review going that way.