Thread: >> German's Log <<

Originally Posted by German89

lmfao!!

just a update on those 15mg... much better. much, much, muucch better. didn't get in my head, didn't get down, or emotional. i was golden. feel good today, not greasy either, zero pip. great stuff!

did back today, didn't have much time, doctors appointment. still blood in my urine. doc thinks it just might be normal for me. my guy says, its probably because i have a high protein diet. um. we are doing a ultrasound too so.. i'll book that for next week. did my ******** pictures today, hopefully get that filed this week.

i spoke to my ex today. uhh... we are to have no contact but, i was forwarded a news paper clipping so, i called to see if he was actually away still. he answered which, through me off. i didn't say much other than, to follow through with the custody order, i asked if he would file income taxes and, that, his son will call him between 630/7. since there is a no contact order for us. he has no way of contacting me. my number will always show as private because, it's a landline and, i have a local number now which, he doesn't have. if he wants to mail his son things, i am okay with that but, it will be to a PO box. he understood. I am going to urge him to contact me through this texting app thats set up through the courts here so, anything that's said between us is documented and kept as evidence - i think that will be a good start for us - i think updating him about his kid is important. not to just him but, our son as well. his son will see who he is once he is older.

okay, enough journaling. i know some of you have followed since day one.. a little update about that. advise?

You are right on point. You dont wanna keep him from his dad or speak on the asshole that he is. It can make the kid feel like something is wrong with them. Also it takes time for them to really realize that one parent is an ass. My daughter is 11 and is still all about her dad even though he is honestly a half ass dad. But I just keep quiet and do my best to get along with him. He also use to abuse both me and my daughter. . I even have helped her dad here and there for thr sake of my kid. Just have to play nice until the little one speaks up and says he is done.

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Originally Posted by German89

lmfao!!

just a update on those 15mg... much better. much, much, muucch better. didn't get in my head, didn't get down, or emotional. i was golden. feel good today, not greasy either, zero pip. great stuff!

did back today, didn't have much time, doctors appointment. still blood in my urine. doc thinks it just might be normal for me. my guy says, its probably because i have a high protein diet. um. we are doing a ultrasound too so.. i'll book that for next week. did my ******** pictures today, hopefully get that filed this week.

i spoke to my ex today. uhh... we are to have no contact but, i was forwarded a news paper clipping so, i called to see if he was actually away still. he answered which, through me off. i didn't say much other than, to follow through with the custody order, i asked if he would file income taxes and, that, his son will call him between 630/7. since there is a no contact order for us. he has no way of contacting me. my number will always show as private because, it's a landline and, i have a local number now which, he doesn't have. if he wants to mail his son things, i am okay with that but, it will be to a PO box. he understood. I am going to urge him to contact me through this texting app thats set up through the courts here so, anything that's said between us is documented and kept as evidence - i think that will be a good start for us - i think updating him about his kid is important. not to just him but, our son as well. his son will see who he is once he is older.

okay, enough journaling. i know some of you have followed since day one.. a little update about that. advise?

For what it's worth, I think you are going above and beyond, trying to do whats best for your son with respect to the situation your ex created. I hope they can both recognize how fortunate they are to have/had you in their lives. My only question...and I have no idea...is if contacting him outside of the court's texting app puts you in any risk. I'm paranoid by nature, so my first thought would be if You are breaking any orders by contacting him...second if it could make things harder on you later...like...I don't know...he starts saying You are harassing him, he might not have the phone call recorded, but he has the proof that you called in the phone records. Now you are on the defense and again, if the No Contact order applies to you contacting him, it could be a bad situation. Again, I have no actual idea...just thoughts.

you are definitely kicking ass german...keep it up

Originally Posted by 5forty

For what it's worth, I think you are going above and beyond, trying to do whats best for your son with respect to the situation your ex created. I hope they can both recognize how fortunate they are to have/had you in their lives. My only question...and I have no idea...is if contacting him outside of the court's texting app puts you in any risk. I'm paranoid by nature, so my first thought would be if You are breaking any orders by contacting him...second if it could make things harder on you later...like...I don't know...he starts saying You are harassing him, he might not have the phone call recorded, but he has the proof that you called in the phone records. Now you are on the defense and again, if the No Contact order applies to you contacting him, it could be a bad situation. Again, I have no actual idea...just thoughts.

you are definitely kicking ass german...keep it up

I won't be speaking to him any more. I dial the number and pass the phone to my son, and listen on speaker. They spoke today for a half hour. They had a good conversation. My son did not stop talking for the whole half hour. "guess what dad" every two seconds. It was super cute watching him and listening to them talk.

Anyways, friday night. almost time to turn a movie on. i think i'll be crashing soon.

i had a pretty good workout today, hard cardio session. took some sibutramine today to help with the cravings I've been battling lately. i've been struggling to keep the diet clean but, i am doing it and, thats all that matters...

as we are creeping into may, I don't know what my goal will be next... I think I will continue with cardio... and try and lean out just a little more.

here is a side by side from march to now



i can sit and pick myself apart but i wont... i gotta smarten up though.

Originally Posted by Big Perk

You look great in both

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lol of course you'd say that.

to be fair, i was running var still in the beginning of march so, i think it kept a lot of my tightness and, the lighting too is a different.

i am lookin way more flat, not as tight.

might play with my carbs for a little.

Originally Posted by German89

here is a side by side from march to now



i can sit and pick myself apart but i wont... i gotta smarten up though.

Dont do that! I didn't really accomplish anything this round. Hopefully at least muscle gain. But I have been in lower calories range for the most part for awhile so I am just gonna move past this. Move to maintenance and give it another go when I am ready. I knew the problem with this time was that I wasnt ready but had that obligated log that had already been on hold for 4 months . I find I do my best when I am 100% doing because I want to and on my terms and dont have any obligations or timelines. I am happy besides this belly . Which my kids makes note to rub it and say mommy hungry??? . Like seriously!!!!!

I have to say those legs are looking delicious . Lube those babies up with some of that jerkins and go to town. .

Proud of you for keeping your diet. When I get stressed or overwhelmed I have no concern for any diet lol.

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well.. i tried with him. he fuckin blew it. not my problem.

and yes perk, hair loss has slowed down. i dont know if it was gear related, or seasonal? but, much better, just a few hairs now. and you're probably right about the urine. i don't have any kidney pain, no UTI symptoms so.. meh.

I only did cardio for like 35 mins today.

I had a huge bowl of cereal yesterday a long with PB and J. I got legs this morning, going a little early.. hoping this troll isn't there.

anyways, still sitting at 155lbs. was 154 this morning. I think I am gonna have a bit of a heavier workout. i'm feeling flat, flabby, and not as full, i am going to sodium load too

Probably will do some leg press, squats, bulgarian split squat, leg extensions and hammie curls. hopefully can crush all that in a hour, with some shoulder work and that horrible thing called, cardddiiooo **Eye roll**