Thread: >> German's Log <<

Originally Posted by German89

FUCK, ontario health system. Or, fuck this communist fuckin health system.

Well at least you have affordable health care. Come to America, where the smallest possible co-pay for any serious health issue will bankrupt your entire family for generations! Lol

Edit: I just realized I almost never comment on a woman’s log even if I’m following along, and I didn’t want my only comment to be negative so...

You’re looking good and your pictures show real forward motion. Keep killing it.


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Originally Posted by German89

UPDATE:

Just a little update since my freakout.

So, since BTRep and I spoke. dropping var for a little was in my best interest. It's been a week? I think maybe a week and a half? I'm not sure. I'm still shedding but, not as much as I was 4 weeks ago. It's calmed down. I'm sure my body was just trying to tell me something. That i was dumb as fuck for being on var for 8 months. I think just being stressed with life my body wasn't producing enough "stress hormone" as my dentist called it. resulting to hair loss. who knows?

I've done blood work. Routine blood work because, you know, getting a hormone panel was too much. Something is up with the kidneys.

Rant:
FUCK, ontario health system. Or, fuck this communist fuckin health system. I'm beyond pissed at this point with everything that's been going on. When I did my blood work, I also signed up for it to be posted online and, it was posted about 12hrs later. I saw, and still can, see my results but, I can't self diagnose but, what i can say is, I need more fuckin tests! The next day, I had a doctors appointment. This was also scheduled pap. so, i do the dreaded pap. after everything, he tries to pull my blood work up and he doesn't have it. Another fuckin week of waiting. Here is the best fuckin part. Best part! This motherfuker used a expired bottle for my pap SOOOO.... Now. I have to do it over again. He hasn't called to reschedule the pap. Nor do I want to do it because!!! I'm so irritated. Like, i am ready to go to the walk in to get medicine for whatever the fuck he did to me down there. Oh! and, to top it off, when we were done the check up part, he even asked if i wanted to do the pap today like, yes motherfucker that's why i am here!!! holy shit!!!

I've had nothing but a wonderful trip down the old canadian health system. it's been nothing but long waits and fuck ups. what else will happen? i start having kidney failure and pray to god i don't die while waiting. Faauck me!

RANT OVER.



So, i'm still using sibutramine as I need it. I don't like using it everyday. I took it yesterday, I still feel it in me enough today. As of this morning i was 161lbs. I've really been focusing on cardio this week. I upped my time to 32 mins. Today if I can get to the gym, I will do my best to hit 35mins. my macros: 104g Carb, 50g Fat, 179g protein for a total of, 1608 calories. I think I'll stick here for another two weeks and see where that takes me BF wise. I've also upped the volume in training as well. I will try and take a picture this week as well.

Thats about it I guess.. Have a good weekend everyone!

Hang in there hon....youll get it all straighten out...try not to stress

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Originally Posted by German89

UPDATE:

Just a little update since my freakout.

So, since BTRep and I spoke. dropping var for a little was in my best interest. It's been a week? I think maybe a week and a half? I'm not sure. I'm still shedding but, not as much as I was 4 weeks ago. It's calmed down. I'm sure my body was just trying to tell me something. That i was dumb as fuck for being on var for 8 months. I think just being stressed with life my body wasn't producing enough "stress hormone" as my dentist called it. resulting to hair loss. who knows?

I've done blood work. Routine blood work because, you know, getting a hormone panel was too much. Something is up with the kidneys.

Rant:
FUCK, ontario health system. Or, fuck this communist fuckin health system. I'm beyond pissed at this point with everything that's been going on. When I did my blood work, I also signed up for it to be posted online and, it was posted about 12hrs later. I saw, and still can, see my results but, I can't self diagnose but, what i can say is, I need more fuckin tests! The next day, I had a doctors appointment. This was also scheduled pap. so, i do the dreaded pap. after everything, he tries to pull my blood work up and he doesn't have it. Another fuckin week of waiting. Here is the best fuckin part. Best part! This motherfuker used a expired bottle for my pap SOOOO.... Now. I have to do it over again. He hasn't called to reschedule the pap. Nor do I want to do it because!!! I'm so irritated. Like, i am ready to go to the walk in to get medicine for whatever the fuck he did to me down there. Oh! and, to top it off, when we were done the check up part, he even asked if i wanted to do the pap today like, yes motherfucker that's why i am here!!! holy shit!!!

I've had nothing but a wonderful trip down the old canadian health system. it's been nothing but long waits and fuck ups. what else will happen? i start having kidney failure and pray to god i don't die while waiting. Faauck me!

RANT OVER.



So, i'm still using sibutramine as I need it. I don't like using it everyday. I took it yesterday, I still feel it in me enough today. As of this morning i was 161lbs. I've really been focusing on cardio this week. I upped my time to 32 mins. Today if I can get to the gym, I will do my best to hit 35mins. my macros: 104g Carb, 50g Fat, 179g protein for a total of, 1608 calories. I think I'll stick here for another two weeks and see where that takes me BF wise. I've also upped the volume in training as well. I will try and take a picture this week as well.

Thats about it I guess.. Have a good weekend everyone!

Holy Cow... WTF did I miss... Girl you gotta relax.. this is just life throwing some curve balls... We are at the mercy of Dr’s.. bill collectors, Ect you get the point.. the worst thing that can happen is to let this effect your mental well being.. I know it’s easier said than done but believe me we have all been their.. I know I have . And everytime I go off the handle it just makes everything g worse with anger , resentment, stress, anxiety and then we take it out on the ones the close to us. So step back, breath. It will work itself out. I heard a Saying once and it holds true.
If there is a problem and you can’t fix it. Don’t worry about it cause it can’t be fixed. If there is a problem that can be fixed, don’t worry about it cause it will be fixed. (If this makes any sense).
Be cool and keep us up on the situation..

Originally Posted by German89

Thank you

It's been a fucked up year as it is. i do my best not to get too anxious and stress. the gym helps. i get way worse with anxiety/anger/stress if I don't go bang some weights. it's the only place i can release the aggression.

this week isn't too crazy. i am waiting on the american courts to process my case with my x - i'm sure he plead not guilty. and the trial probably wont happen for another year. which, is fine by me. I find out on the 10th about, if he answered custody hearing here in canada. Still waiting on american doctors to fax canadian doctors my sons shit so, i can get him into school. so, then, i can do something part time too. i hate waiting. oh and my son has a doctors appointment friday too, fuck. poor kid is getting sick of seeing the doctor or dentist or, anything every week. guess, years of entrapment will really put you behind on self care.

tomorrow will be my short evening with my guy, (hopefully). bottle of whisky for us.

anyways, midnight, i should get to sleep.

thank you everyone for the moral support!

I don’t know if you believe... but give it up to God and put everything in his hands... I am not a bible thumper bu any means but I do believe that god has a plan for us. Look for the signs.. Breath. Nothing is I. Your hands, dr, courts, your ex’s actions. The only thing we can control is our actions.. be calm... and realize everything happens for s reason..

Originally Posted by German89

Thank you Mr. Bash!

Well. Hit 160lbs yesterday so. New goal will be 155lbs.

Had my night with my guy just barely making it this morning lmao. Hopefully come to here soon, get some cardio done today. I have a little birthday party to go to with my son so, I'll be popping some sibutramine so I dont eat anything.

Have a great day German!

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