John's Daily Log

**JohnMcc** · 10-30-2020, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by StayFocused1313

You had me at sea salt caramel. Ohh buddy what I wouldn’t do for some caramel right now.

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Sadly they used cheap dark chocolate so it wasn't as good as I hoped.

**JohnMcc** · 10-30-2020, 01:48 AM

Originally Posted by Popeye*

Walmart is the place for some good quick food. They rock their chicken out

. I gotta stay away from the bakery though. Fuck that place it’s bad bad news

I got halfway through the chicken and felt sick so sadly I pitched the rest and finished the mashed taters. I think I've grown so used to clean whole foods and my lower calorie cheat food recipes that junk food like that just makes my stomach turn.

Popeye* · 10-30-2020, 02:06 AM

Originally Posted by JohnMcc

I got halfway through the chicken and felt sick so sadly I pitched the rest and finished the mashed taters. I think I've grown so used to clean whole foods and my lower calorie cheat food recipes that junk food like that just makes my stomach turn.

Oh dang yea if u have been eating like that no doubt your stomach turned but hell I’ll take mashed potatoes over chicken any day.

**JohnMcc** · 10-30-2020, 12:00 PM

Let myself sleep in 30min and did do cardio today. I'll be doing plenty of work today at the power plant, we are ready to lay glass block in the flue stack so I'm sure I'll be soaked in sweat by the end of the shift.

The cheat meal was well needed, despite not sleeping well at all and waking up multiple times throughout the night I feel good and have energy and im guessing its from the extra calories last night.

**JohnMcc** · 10-31-2020, 12:39 AM

Laid glass block all day in the flue stack, missed a meal but it is what it is. Got back to the hotel showered and ate a little bit, definitely in a calorie deficit today.

The wife asked if we can sleep in the same bed when I get home, like why did it take me saying I'm done for you to do the things you're supposed to do!? Then layer i said I miss my bed at home because I haven't slept for shit in this shithole hotel and she replies, "You miss the bed but not me". All I could think was dont go fishing for answers to questions you don't want the honest answer to, I just ignored it and haven't responded, im tired of the bullshit. She also the other day that she doesn't want to leave the house, she wants to stay and keep trying to work on things.

Man I'm either going to lose my house because she gets spiteful, have to just sign it over to her so I can get the fuck away and start over, or she's going to finally realize im done trying and get super depressed and try and kill herself. I really can't see it playing out anyway besides those 3 scenarios, which is fucked up and I hate that thats how it will likely play out.

Just finished 30min on the recumbent bike. Going to try and head to bed soon.

Popeye* · 10-31-2020, 12:55 AM

Originally Posted by JohnMcc

Laid glass block all day in the flue stack, missed a meal but it is what it is. Got back to the hotel showered and ate a little bit, definitely in a calorie deficit today.

The wife asked if we can sleep in the same bed when I get home, like why did it take me saying I'm done for you to do the things you're supposed to do!? Then layer i said I miss my bed at home because I haven't slept for shit in this shithole hotel and she replies, "You miss the bed but not me". All I could think was dont go fishing for answers to questions you don't want the honest answer to, I just ignored it and haven't responded, im tired of the bullshit. She also the other day that she doesn't want to leave the house, she wants to stay and keep trying to work on things.

Man I'm either going to lose my house because she gets spiteful, have to just sign it over to her so I can get the fuck away and start over, or she's going to finally realize im done trying and get super depressed and try and kill herself. I really can't see it playing out anyway besides those 3 scenarios, which is fucked up and I hate that thats how it will likely play out.

Just finished 30min on the recumbent bike. Going to try and head to bed soon.

Welp I won’t complain much today lol. Don’t you hate the drama? I get things being talked over and worked out but like it doesn’t have to be dramatic! Shit gets crazy quick doesn’t it.

It will all work out for the best of both of u man. This will all be a page in the history book soon enough. Fingers crossed or prayers answered either way it will get better.

U got nerves of steel brother

**JohnMcc** · 10-31-2020, 01:19 AM

Originally Posted by Popeye*

Welp I won’t complain much today lol. Don’t you hate the drama? I get things being talked over and worked out but like it doesn’t have to be dramatic! Shit gets crazy quick doesn’t it.

It will all work out for the best of both of u man. This will all be a page in the history book soon enough. Fingers crossed or prayers answered either way it will get better.

U got nerves of steel brother

Truth is I do not have nerves of steel, im an anxious person internally most of the time. I just either 1. Don't show emotion. 2. Get baked and try to forget my problems. 3. See 1 and 2 lol.

I hope it does pass and things become peaceful so I can move on with my life and not be held back.

**JohnMcc** · 10-31-2020, 11:57 AM

Good morning yall, got some good restful sleep finally and I feel so much better. I got a call from a college friend he said our group of friends is having a reunion party July next year. He said lots of our friends are doing good, married, and happy. This put me in a good mood, I passed out with a smile on my face from all the good memories.

Last day at this project, were finishing block laying today. Heading home tomorrow for a day or so which also puts me in good spirit. GET SOME yall!

Popeye* · 10-31-2020, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by JohnMcc

Truth is I do not have nerves of steel, im an anxious person internally most of the time. I just either 1. Don't show emotion. 2. Get baked and try to forget my problems. 3. See 1 and 2 lol.

I hope it does pass and things become peaceful so I can move on with my life and not be held back.

#2 is gtg in by book!!